Penny's Story

A cute little drummer living her dream.

364

364 days, that is…

I’m kind of not sure I even want to mention this, since the actual day has become identified in court papers as the date “on or about which” my marriage suffered its irrevocable breakdown, but I guess I should at least point it out. (please, no one say “happy birthday” – I only have one, and it’s in March)

So, um, yeah, tomorrow, September 5th is my one -year anniversary of living as myself.

Wow.

Like most human experiences, part of me feels like it was only yesterday that I set out on my new path, but on the other hand I can barely remember the life before.

I remember being so scared leading up till the day last year (it’s ironic that the one negative thing that I was the least scared of happening was the one negative thing that did happen – hmm, so much for predictability). It took months before I realized that no one was going to show up and kick my ass, or make fun of me, or kick me out of public restrooms. Now it seems so silly to have been afraid of anything at all. I believe the word is “normalcy.” My life is more normal now than it had ever been in my entire time on the planet previously.

I had no idea it would be this way. Everything has gotten better. I am happier and healthier, and it looks like I’m only going to continue moving in that direction.

Yet I don’t really feel celebratory. It’s just kind of matter-of-fact. It is what it is. It’s a year since I finally opened my eyes with the proper perspective, but the day itself feels like nothing at all special.

Weird.

And so, tomorrow begins day 1 of year 2. It is pretty cool, even if I don’t want to celebrate.

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