Penny's Story

A cute little drummer living her dream.

Archive for July 13, 2008

Look for them where they are…

Amazingly, after posting an ad on craigslist under the heading that I dread (“t4m” or “transgender for man”), I got a ton of emails. Some of them suck (it’s craigslist, afterall), but several of them seem quite promising (there’s already been at least one phone conversation).

It’s funny how, when I posted in the place where the people looking for me are, I got some legit interest. Again, it’s craigslist, so I’m a little leery, but why is it all that much worse than Match.com?

This feels like another piece of the acceptance puzzle. I’ve been resisting the idea of specifically hunting amongst the tranny-chasers. It almost turns in on itself, “there must be something wrong with someone that would be attracted to women like me.” And, to take it one step further: “there must be something wrong with someone that would be attracted ~to me.~” And, as I referenced in the past, the Groucho Marx line about not belonging to any club that would have me as a member. It seems like it was all related to me feeling crappy about being trans. I’m still not like super happy or nothing. I’d have much preferred the nice normal ovaries and uterus that I was supposed to get, but I didn’t get them. [here’s the acceptance part] And I’m special the way I am. And certain people understand that specialness. And certain people look for people special in the way that I am. And some of them are going to suck. And some of them are going to be okay. And some of them I’m probably going to think are special too.

So I’m going to stop thinking (and saying) such negative things about tranny-chasers (or “Admirers,” to use the more PC term). Within this group of guys is more than likely some men that I will really hit it off with. I need to stop judging the guys that could be attracted to me the way that I am simply because they could be attracted to me the way that I am. That seems like a wicked “cutting off your nose to spite your face” kind of thing if I ever heard of one.

These guys like transwomen. They find transwomen attractive. Some of them even want real, honest-to-goodness relationships with transwomen.

um

~~HELLO~~

I’m a transwoman.

Duh.

Seems like a no-brainer, yes?

It’s about time.

(oh, and I think the current count is like 15 replies to my ad in like 12 hours  –  whoa)

[I think this was a really important day on the journey.]

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: