Penny's Story

A cute little drummer living her dream.

Day 8: Penny’s Excellent Adventure

[This is part of my ongoing diary about my SRS experience in Trinidad, Colorado with Dr. Marci Bowers. See the main page here: Penny’s Excellent Adventure.]

7:19 AM:

Last full day in the hospital. I can’t wait to get out of here. I feel better today, it’s that gradual up-hill climb to recovery. I’m already out of bed sitting up; I’ll probably go for a walk when Jayme and Sarah and Wendy get here. My fever seems to have really abated and I’m feeling pretty damned good; I can’t wait to see how I feel once they let me out of this little pressure dressing.

On a semi-unrelated note, I’ve finally found a sleeping pill that actually helps me sleep and doesn’t seem to have any side effects: Ambien. I could see asking for a script for it from my PCP when I get home (my insomnia can get really bad).

 

10:40 AM:

Just got my surgical certification letter from my doctor’s office. This is the letter that I will use to change my social security info and my birth certificate. My favorite part is the end: “Accordingly, all documentation should reflect this individual’s current and final genital status of female.” Yay; I’m “official.”    lol

 

11:35 AM:

Definitely feeling better; I’m watching Futurama and laughing almost hard, which hurts a little, but feels really good. This sure is an arduous process, though worth every sceond of it. I’m very happy to be feeling so much back to myself already. What an amazing thing. The hospital is getting a little tiresome, but everyone here has been amazing. The folks out here are lovely.

 

12:15 PM:

The spontaneous tears have finally started today. I’m by no means “over” with this process, but things are very different than they were five days ago. It’s starting to sink in: I have the proper body. Nearly everyone in my world has been brilliant and gracious and understanding, and they’ve seen me as a woman for quite a while now, but there is no denying that making this physical change makes things different – for everyone, even me. And so, because I’m me, and because things have really started to actually sink-in today, my eyes have started to leak random moisture of joy. Yay.

 

1:28 PM:

So, I just went for a walk outside! It is lovely outdoors. I really needed to see the sun and feel the fresh air on my face. I am so happy I could fly!

 

2:55 PM:

Just took a shower; it’s very nice to feel clean. It sure took a lot out of me, though. Whew, I’m tired.

 

6:18 PM:

So, pretty tired today. I didn’t nap much and I was bouncing around the hospital quite a bit all day. I hate healing, I want to get better right now – I’m so impatient.It’s amazing to realize that in less than three months I’ll be basically healed (full healing can take up to a year or more {as I know from my gallbladder surgery}). 

Sarah and Wendy made it out today. It was great to see them, as my entire contingent of folks that had made the journey out with me have now returned home. It’s really great to have such amazing friends.

This is truly an amazing surgery to be able to have. I already feel so much more relaxed and peaceful in my body as it now exists. I no longer have to talk about “my penis” or euphamisms there of. I am just so happy.

 

7:25 PM:

It’s funny how much like a pre-pubescent girl I feel. Nurses are having to teach me and my room mate things about having a vagina in the same way that older women will teach young girls. Weird. They’re all very sweet and lovely. I feel like I’m getting that sort of physical-education into womanhood that normally happens during puberty. Nobody teaches boys how to use their stuff; it’s juat like: “Hey, figure that thing out on your own; you might even have some fun as you go.” Vaginas are definitely more involved, even when menstruation isn’t involved, and it feels great having had this collection of brilliant women help me as I learn about my new body. Very cool.

 

8:13 PM:

I won’t mind getting out of this hospital room and away from this damn squeaky clock!

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2 Comments»

  Corrvin wrote @

“This is truly an amazing surgery to be able to have. I already feel so much more relaxed and peaceful in my body as it now exists.”

Every time I see someone get their heart’s desire, it just makes me so thankful to live in a world where we have hearts, and desires, and fulfillment.

Congrats on your happy-ending-that-goes-on!

  Amanda wrote @

I’m sooooo happy for you Penny! You will be home soon… and hopefully the healing will pass quickly.

Thank you for the postcard! I’m not gonna lie… I cried a little. Quit makin’ me cry, damnit! 🙂


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