Penny's Story

A cute little drummer living her dream.

Day 11: Penny’s Excellent Adventure

[This is part of my ongoing diary about my SRS experience in Trinidad, Colorado with Dr. Marci Bowers. See the main page here: Penny’s Excellent Adventure.]

7:22 AM:

So, it seemed like the bleeding from the j-tube drain had slowed considerably before I went to bed last night, and the swelling also seems like it’s gradually getting better. When I met with my surgeon before surgery, she told me that the thing I would need the most of during my recovery would be patience; it seems like that’s proving accurate.

Today I finally get my catheter out – yay! Also, the packing in my vagina gets taken out. There’s something like 30′ (that’s thirty ~feet~) of packing inside me; no wonder I’m still waddling.

So, I get to actually see how much of a mess I make when I pee today (I’m going to make a mess until the swelling gets considerably better).

I also have to start dilating today. Since my vagina was surgically constructed I have to dilate it to help keep its shape and depth and width. They gave me the dilators the other day, and all I can say is that I’m very intimidated – even the small one is ~big~. Like, ~big~. So, I’m very excited to get the packing out, but I’m kind of nervous about how dilating is going to go, especially at first.


7:57 AM:

Okay, so I’m rotten, but I’m pretty glad that I’m out of Boston during the crazy snow today. It’s not like I’d be able to shovel anyway, but a foot of snow? Damn.


8:00 AM:

Hmm, gonna be a busy writing day apparently. The tears are getting crazy; I can’t stop crying tears of joy; I am just so happy. There is peace and joy and bliss and … and … I have ~never~ felt like this before – I feel magnificent.


9:25 AM:

All showered and ready to leave the Morning After House. I’m definitely riding mood-swings; for a few hours I’ll feel like I’m doing great and right on track, and then I’ll feel like it looks horrible and is too swollen and taking too long. I’m thinking this is pretty normal for this process, but it’s kind of emotionally taxing.


3:49 PM:

Back at the hotel. I’ve been to the doctor, been “un-packed” and de-catheterized. The dilating process was so not as bad as I was fearing. There is enough swelling that the doctor made that “concerned doctor” face, but she settled down pretty quick and essentially said that patience should resolve it, and within three weeks the swelling should be way down. I actually got up to the middle dilator and didn’t feel pain at all. I mentioned the blood to the doctor, and she said, “You’re a woman now, get used to it.” And I said, “Hey, no making fun of the new girl.”  😉  Yep, I really like my surgeon (she said that she likes me too).

After the doctor Wendy and I went to lunch and then to the Social Security office in town where I changed the gender marker on my Social Security file. Big, big YAY!


4:28 PM:

I forgot that while I was on the table at the doctor’s office dilating I was using my hand mirror to see what I was doing. I turned the mirror just a little so I could see my face, and I said to myself in the mirror, “You have a pussy; and you have a dildo up your pussy.” I confess that it made me feel pretty awesome. I’m such a goofball sometimes.



6:38 PM:

I peed! It was easy! It was definitely a bit of a spray, but it was much less messy than I was expecting. An interesting thing that I noticed is that when I used to pee with a penis, there would be the pee that would come out when I relaxed my muscles, and then that would stop, and there would be a few drops left that I would squeeze out. Well, now there’s nothing left to squeeze; I just relaxed, and the pee came out and then it stopped, and then it was done. I knew that was how it would be now, but it was still an interesting thing to actually experience.


11:01 PM:

So, my first time dilating without the doctor’s aid was a little trickier, but I still managed to pull it off, and again I’d say there was no pain involved. I even would say that I enjoyed it (like, really, I wasn’t trying to get excited or anything, but I was definitely feeling some very nice sensations, even while just sitting there trying to stretch); yay. When I was cleaning up I got a really good look at the suture line that’s opened up a little, the swelling and all the structures. At this point it looks like most of the blood is actually coming from the open suture line. Even swollen and red and bruised I’d say that I’m pretty damned pleased with my vulva.



  Liz wrote @

So many thoughts and feelings so unsure as to how to express them! (me silly, not you though you are _way_ entitled!) =)

I’ll leave it down to this: I feel immense joy for you and each new discovery, like a parent watching a child take their first few steps. U can’t wait until we can chat in person again! =) Come home safely Miss Penelope. I miss you!

And yes, the snow sucked. The city shut down. Even my work closed, an it never closes.

Ciao Bella!


  Corrvin wrote @

Thirty FEET of packing? Uhhh. Wow.

This is like the R-rated game of “What have I got in my pocket?” isn’t it?

Packing! Dilator! Fun!

  Amanda wrote @

I can honestly say, I’ve never before been psyched to see how anyone’s peeing experience turns out. 🙂

It’s awesome that you are feeling “pleasantness” already, with all the swelling and a bit of soreness left… imagine how it will be in just a few weeks!!

  pickypenelope wrote @

Yep, 30 FEET. It provided quite a “full” feeling to say the least. I felt like I was the magician with the 500 handkerchiefs coming out of her crotch as the doctor removed it all; it just kept going and going and going.

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