Penny's Story

A cute little drummer living her dream.

Archive for March 18, 2009

Each to their own journey

I was talking with a friend earlier and she said something about being “behind the curve” in an area of her life related to other people. My response was to say that there is no curve because we’re all on our own journey.

It got me thinking about my own journey…

Lots of transgender folks live their lives wishing that things had been different. I went through a pretty interesting path myself, including an extended period of denial and repression and then a few years when I got lost in my own regrets and bitterness.

And then I got better.

I’m still not sure when things turned around. I know I had been working very hard at it for several years, and it seems like everything came together last summer. I guess it, like everything, was a process. And so, of course, it’s an ongoing process.

But this morning, after chatting with my friend, I realized that my journey has been special and magical. I could get caught up in thoughts of how my life could have been better, but I don’t have time for that. My life as it is has taught me lessons that most people could never dream of. I have learned to value simple things that most people take for granted. It’s easy to see your journey however you want to color it; almost everyone’s life has painful hardships and untold blessings – which ones you focus on really give your life its flavor. I choose to count my blessings; I choose to see my personal journey as something unique and special; I choose to believe in things I can’t see.

I have learned to see my way around my obstacles; I have learned to take pain in stride; I am happy with what I have accomplished and yet excited to do more. My transition was part of my journey that was particularly arduous, but it was incredibly rewarding; how could I possibly wish that it hadn’t happened?

Of all the surprises of my last few years, the fact that I have become so resilient is one of the biggest. Just a couple years ago I felt weak and powerless. Now I feel strong and happy and peaceful. My journey has been difficult at times, but it has taken me past beautiful vistas and amazing relationships.

Everything I have seen leads me to believe that my journey gets more amazing from here …

I can’t wait to see what happens next.

🙂

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