Penny's Story

A cute little drummer living her dream.

Archive for October 13, 2009

Pondering Transproofed with Friends

Saturday night I hosted a group of friends to watch the short film “Transproofed.” It was the first meeting of what we hope will be a recurring and growing group. I say I hosted it, but I was hardly alone in making it happen – it’s just that it was at my house.

So, we watched the film, which deals with dating as a woman of transsexual history and stealth and all that fun stuff.

After the movie we had a great discussion, with some help from some recent facilitator training for one of our group. We talked about disclosure, I told the story of how I talked about my history with the Darling Boyfriend, other people shared their dating hopes and experiences. It seemed like we were all on the same page as far as honesty and disclosure and such.

It was super-neat having my friends over and hosting discussion. It was just very cool.

[spoiler alert]

The part that touched me in the film was when Andrea James is helping Calpernia Addams “trans proof” her apartment, getting rid of all evidence of her trans history. Andrea insists that Calpernia must rid her place of the pictures of her friends. Calpernia refuses, feeling that is too high a price to pay for acceptance. It was a really touching scene. I wouldn’t think such a short movie could make me cry quite so much. Wow. Good stuff! And the talk with the group was just all sorts of deep and insightful and educational and groovy. I love my friends!

Performing the Written Word

So, as you saw in my last post, I read some of my poems at an open mic night last week. It was pretty interesting. My how things have changed. I spent so long hiding in my room. I lost years of my life because I was afraid to even go outside, and here I am reading stuff that I wrote in front of people. Just, wow.

I read at this queer-inclusive night called Transcriptions. I’ve been there a few times before, and I thought it was about time for me to actually participate. I gotta say, I was a little nervous, but I was far less terrified than I had expected. I’m still surprised that I enjoy public speaking. I guess I really am becoming powerful. It was super-fun, and I will definitely do it again.

The weird part was that I don’t really write with the intention of having my words read aloud, so it was a very different way to look at my writing. I think reading my own words out loud was really helpful in terms of me understanding some things about how words flow. It was very informative.

Most of the poems I read I had written before. I read four haiku that were from last year or before, then one longer piece that I wrote late last year, and then three haiku that I wrote fairly recently. The last one I wrote the day of the reading. The three newer ones were all written about my Darling Boyfriend. It was kinda cool to read love poems to my boyfriend from the stage.  🙂

Anyway, here’s the newest one:

we feel the same way
hints with pajamas and ra-
dio i love you

[Yes, I’m aware that I broke all sorts of haiku rules with that whole split “ra-dio” thing, but I don’t care.]

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